Dr Dickhead and the Black-Belt-in-a-Box

So I came across this guy selling a “black belt in a box” over the internet. I was intrigued. How the can you buy an instant black belt in a box? Can he really promise ultimate street fighting techniques that any idiot can learn from a DVD? And he can give me that black belt in a year??) It all sounded too good to be true, so I got hold of a copy of his book entitled 'The complete book of jujitsu' and had a good read to see what this guy is talking about.
 

What I stumbled across was shocking. I am not surprised that the promises he makes are absolutely and unequivocably false. Of course they are. How can any martial art claim to turn out real black belts in 12 months from a home study course? It can't, not worth anything anyway. The 'black belts' produced by such a system would be eaten alive by anyone with a few hours of real mat time in pretty much any discipline.

What I found really shocking were that someone who claims to have the credentials that Mr (I refuse to call him a Dr.) Gambordella claims to have can turn out this drivel, that actually may end up getting someone hurt or killed (and not the person his 'techniques' are used on). It's not enough that he calls himself a grandmaster (really? Wow, an American Grand Master? Of what exactly?), but he obviously felt the need to add a bogus doctorate for good measure. Check these out:

Hey Chubby Brown Belt Kid – what are you doing with your left hand? Also note the complete lack of movement on the part of Mr G. I have never seen a fight where two guys stand in front of each other fixed to the spot and exchange blows before, perhaps this is a new style, or maybe it is a technique to use on an opponent in a deep sea diving suit complete with lead boots...

Check out the distance between them. No attempt to steal space. Chubby Brown Belt Kid has plenty of space to counter in, and can see everything that is going on. He looks suspiciously like he is throwing himself. Also check out the straight leg – a sure way to get your own leg broken. Chubby Brown Belt Kid should just drop down on it and snap it off for him. He probably didn't want to risk breaking his television though...Come to think of it if Dr Dickhead is a grandmaster then why is he filming this in his living room? Where is the dojo?

This is classic. CBBK's arm is the wrong way round so there is no arm bar and he is free to move. Again, too much space between them, not enough contact, CBBK left arm is free to do whatever he wants with it – why isn't he jabbing Dr Dickhead in the kidneys? God forbid he has a knife...

Oh really? Check out CBBK pulling his punch, he even looks like he is about to give a cheeky wink to the camera. Dr Dickhead would have had a proper kicking by now, or been left minus a kidney bleeding on the pavement.

Really Mr Gambollina you should know better. You aren't just conning these kids, but you could really get one of them hurt or killed if they come across someone who even vaguely knows what they are doing, or has a knife on them somewhere. I am sure you know this, I'm sure in your history you do have some training,but you sure as hell aren't passing it on with this crap. Correspondence course? Black Belt in a Box? You should be ashamed of yourself. Do these kids a favour and teach them properly face to face, or tell them to go somewhere else...and if anyone reading this is thinking of buying a 'black belt in a box' save your money, just go to your local sports store and buy a black belt. It will be just as meaningless, but will cost a hell of a lot less, and won't fill you with false promises or unwarranted and dangerous self confidence.